"I am the one who knows who you are.
I want you to be happy.
and you could be
with me."
The Realm of Possibility
David Levithan
My mom is the only constant I've ever truly had and is possibly the most awesome person on the planet. I am going to be such a mess when I go off to college. I'm wracked with guilt a lot of the time because I'll be leaving her, though I know I don't have to be. She wants me to be happy. We both know I need to leave.
She's only been gone for fourteen hours. She'll be back a week from now. Still, I'm a mess. She just responded to my text of 12 minutes ago ("ARE YOU OKAY?") with affirmative, so there's that, and I am currently vainly attempting not to fall apart.
In other news, I have a new email from Neopets. Memories!
I have an essay to write for Monday, as well as a book to read. As required reading goes the book doesn't look too bad, but I tried to absorb myself in it several times today and found myself easily distracted by goings on and other productive things I could be doing. Thus, only twenty plages have been conquered. It's funny how I can be doing something I'm supposed to do and still feel guilty about it. It's for school, okay? That place I go to. That place!
I take this as evidence that I am not, in fact, plagued by senioritis. If anything the little schoolwork I am assigned serves as a distraction from the Bad Things that might otherwise nag at me. I am terrible at weekends; free time and I have a tense relationship.
This is the part of the evening where I listen to sad songs and cry.
See you tomorrow.
That quote. Is actually my favorite. Hnnnng David. It will be okay. Just remember that you can still call or text her any or every day next year.
ReplyDeleteConfession: Other than Will Grayson Will Grayson, I've never read anything by David Levithan. xD But your constant quoting of him makes me very much desire to! I just need to, you know, get on that.
ReplyDeleteDON'T WORRY KATHERINE. You will survive without your mother! When I was 11, my mom went to Malaysia for a MONTH to visit her sister. Of course my father, whom I get along with fine, was with me, so it wasn't so bad. But still. Being mom-less is sad. But you can do it!
Also, I had a super legit Neopets account with like tons of neopoints (over 600,000 I believe) and I FORGOT THE PASSWORD, and I made the account before I had an email address. And it makes me super sad, because I had that account for years, and it was so legit.
I LOVE YOU.
College will be okay! Probably, going away will make you love her even more. That happened for me. I am SUPER-EXTRA-ULTRA attached to my Momster, but going off to college and living alone has made me love and appreciate her a billion times more. Also, it makes the visits AMAZING BEST EVER times. :D
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