Blog Every Day April: 4/30

"And when you're stuck in your head / and when the world is spinning / I'll be here."

In Spite of Everything

Hannah Winkler

I am currently curled on the love-seat in the living room, a quilt covering my lower half as the battery of my phone dwindles and I continue to pretend to myself that I am not sick. Can we talk about the fact that my hair looks not terrible today, yet I am couchridden and incapable of using it to full advantage? (I have so many problems. You have no idea.) (I have no idea what "using it to full advantage" would even entail. My brain sometimes.)

My internetwife called me several times today, which was a bright spot, and there may be exciting news concerning her and I in future! Future roommate and partner in crazy Luar--sneeze--el didn't get the job she interviewed for yesterday, which is dumb because she's awesome (logical conclusion), but she texted me from a nifty jazz concert near her land of living and it sounded like cool times. She's also reading Tina Fey's biography. I'm jealous.

Lastly, on the OHMYGODIHAVEFRIENDS front, I texted my good friend John this evening claiming my present "relationship" status to be Forever Alone. His response? "One day you'll meet an awesome guy who's just as awkward as you are!" I laughed for about five minutes afterward.

Semi-related, I highly recommend that you find this book and (drumroll, please) read it. It's composed of short stories, one of which ends with a character claiming to be singular rather than single. This really struck a chord with me at the time; I like the idea of being singular. There's a wholeness, rather than a void, in that. (Since we're doing book recommendations, I also request that you read this, for slightly different but entirely relevant-to-your-life reasons.)

My phone is dead. (Sneeze.) How rude of it. My laptop is on the way there, as well, and I'm almost out of tissues. Why doesn't the world understand that I clearly shouldn't be required to move?

Life is so hard.

This has been my third run-around (and success) with BEDA, which has much to do with the fantastic people I am honored to call friends. Camaraderie is where it's at, yo! (Really. Why don't you disown me? I love you people.)

April's end is bittersweet. Less than a month from now I will have graduated from high school; in autumn I will further my education six hours north of the tinytowntexas I currently (if begrudgingly) call home. The prospect of this makes me both terribly excited and nauseous.

It's as if suddenly my life is, in some tangible way, my own. I'm not sure how I feel about that.