Summer vacation is now a scant three weeks from coming to a close. While I have battled the dragons of confusion and settled into it a bit by now, summer is a strange concept for me. Having attempted online high school courses that didn't work for me in my sophomore year, I entered public school again last year needing to complete two years of schoolwork in one. Emotionally drained and sketchy as it is, all I have been able to fathom these past few years is work work work breakdown work work work breakdown AHHHHHH work. And while I was able to make up that work (really, I could go on for ages about the brain mush I experienced), I'm now left making up the things I missed as a result: the SATs, our state's final standardized tests and whatever college research I might have done otherwise. I have no clue what I'm doing. But as I was saying, summer (and breathing) as a concept has been a bit lost to me.
So. Summer. What have I done with it? I was meant to do things regarding college research and SAT study, but (excuses, excuses!) without guidance I find myself lost. As I learned during my stint as a homeschooler, without specific instruction I tend to end up paralytic and getting absolutely nowhere. The same goes for times where I have a great many things to accomplish. I have been undertaking a huge project in many pieces this summer, however, and that is reorganizing everything I own. It's all very poignant and frazzling. Maybe I'll never finish, as it is definitely a whelming and huge task. This is not an indicator of mass so much as content. As a military child, we moved often and were constantly purging our possessions in order to make weight. While I certainly have a lot of stuff, I do mourn the things I had to leave behind, and what's left tells a story. Maybe my life is a shrine of ornaments; I don't know. Also notable, a Great And Terrible Situation involving a boy leading me on and then dumping me in a text message played a large part of my summer. Maybe he'll get a blog post sometime this month. He doesn't deserve it, but my thoughts are existent and valid and writing is a great helpmate.
This afternoon my brethren and I drove into San Antonio, the closest city to our charming and teeny tiny town, for several appointments. Firstly I had an appointment with a (my?) dermatologist, which was started off in spectacular fashion as we waited in an ocean themed waiting room for longer than I would have cared to be in an ocean themed waiting room with many rambunctious children. Yay, ocean phobias? Now I get to try another acne medication. Maybe this time my face won't peel off. Following this was my, er, therapy session (?). I love my counselor. She makes Harry Potter references and jumps up and happy dances when good things happen. So that happened, and then we went out to dinner, which doesn't happen often but remains one of my favorite things. Our waitress was really nice and I ate food, 2/3 of which ended up coming home with me in a take home box. My stomach hasn't been behaving very well since April, but I think it's getting a bit better. I can eat more now without becoming bedridden, which I appreciate. Course, I'm also not averse to losing weight, so then we come to the part where I just don't *want* to eat. But I'm actually pretty okay right now. I've started walking on our treadmill (yet unnamed, suggestions welcome) every night, and it's lifting my mood somewhat. I haven't exercised this frequently... ever. I'm pretty chuffed with myself. So what if I spend most of my time at 2.5 miles per hour? I AM STILL COOL.
Tomorrow I'm going to meet with my school counselor. Hopefully I can get some answers regarding about five hundred different things and update you on my panic levels.
Are you doing BEDA, too? Let me know! We are destined to be buddies. I feel it. And even on the chance that you aren't--this still needs to happen. I have hugs! Also confetti.
Your blogs make me happy, I just read some of them. :D
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how thrilled that makes me. Thank youuuuuuu. <3
ReplyDeleteI was homeschooled until I got to college, but it worked really well with my personality. I am very good at setting goals and deadlines for myself, which is essential for homeschooling. It just doesn't work for some people.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I have no name suggestions for your treadmill. Something Harry Potter related perhaps? Like Dobby or Crookshanks?
I'm glad homeschooling worked well for you! I wish it had for me, but we're all different and things. xD I'm liking the Harry Potter theme. Dobby is tempting.
ReplyDeleteI dislike saying goodbye to summer. I sort of took classes all summer long, so I didn't really get a break from school...but summer school is so much better than normal school and I don't want to go back to normal school! :(
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, best of luck. I always thought I would like being home-schooled (mostly because I hate everyone) but I did this International Baccalaureate thing instead, and that made high school a tiny bit more bearable. Because my coursework was actually interesting. Huzzah!
ALSO. My advice is not to stress out too terribly much about college and applications and the whole hullabaloo. They tell you its terrifying to SCARE you. But it really isn't that bad. And one year in, I can definitely say that college is about three billion times better than high school...so hang in there!
To end this creepy, long, and stalkerish comment I'm just going to suggest VoldeTread. Because everything is better when you throw a Volde in front of it. And evil is sexy.
Interesting coursework? Wow. Who knew that existed? ha.
ReplyDeleteI will try. At this point it seems vaguely manageable. Deep breaths. Things will work out. >.<
Stalkerish comments are quite nice. I am in favor of them. If that doesn't sound creepy, also. VoldeTread is an EXCELLENT possibility. I will try it out and let you know.