Our old friend Dobbin contacted me via everyone's favorite (cough) social networking website a week ago, in desperate need to atone for his sins. Or, rather, inform me of his sins. You know, over a year following his unceremonious dumping of yours truly via text message. Luckily I knew them, or else I might very well have died in utter shock. I said just enough to convey I was willing to listen. Our largely one-sided "conversation" was about him, not me; it was, I figured, his party.
And you know what I did, my friends? I forgave him.
I'd like to clear up a common misconception here. Forgiveness does not equal reconciliation, nor does it have to in order to be meaningful. Forgiveness allows for all parties in an unfortunate situation to move on. Forgiveness allows closure. This is what I did for Dobbin. He needed to be forgiven.
This does not mean that I plan to associate with him again. This does not mean that I will accept the friend request he inevitably sent me a day later. And this certainly does not mean that he isn't a scumbag.
I could have said a lot of things to Dobbin.
Instead I let go. It feels good.
I LOVE YOU. I am glad that we are friends and that we talk on Skype all the time and stuff. #sap
ReplyDelete<3
Also, yeah, Dobbin is dumb, but hopefully he'll just go away and leave you alone forever now. :)
I will high-five to THAT! Work it, woman!!
ReplyDelete(This is a situation to be 'worked' right?? Yeah. I think so, too.)
Yeah, you're getting it. You don't need to be friends with everyone, that's actually not even possible. But you do need to be nice to everyone. You don't need to be mean, because like that bumper-sticker says, "mean people suck."
ReplyDeleteYou remember that one person who gave me such a hard time last year? I forgive her. I'm like, "meh, whatever.. poor lady." But I wouldn't meet her for coffee. This isn't unforgivness or harboring any grudge, it's just common sense. Why would I want to meet anyone like her for coffee, I reserve those times for someone whose company I enjoy.
He doesn't get this yet, as evidenced by the friend request. You have no obligation to be his friend -- you don't enjoy his company and he annoys you -- but he's free to go about his business knowing he's absolved of wrong-doing (as far as you're concerned) and that you have no ill-will toward him, that's what's important.
BUT.. he needs to leave you alone now. Dude, you're forgiven.. now let's hear no more of it. Fly away, little bird! Live, learn and love somewhere else.
<3<3
ReplyDeleteI've been around since this whole thing started, so I'm glad to see that things are working out. I'm proud of you!